We all strive for parking perfection. Some of us are better at it than others and most men will tell you they're better parkers than women. Meanwhile women enjoy lower insurance premiums because they actually have less serious car accidents and so just let the men say what they want. But although bad parking is a pain in the bum for other people who have to put up with it, just how bad can it get???

This is a really bad bit of parking; hell those cars are practically touching! I'd call that an 'insurance details swap' just waiting to happen.

    

Then there is just being a mindless, selfish, inconsiderate and taking up two perfectly good spaces cause you can't park properly or can't be bothered to park properly.  But if you park that badly in a petrol station it's a whole different ball game. I mean you could knock over one of the petrol pumps. The next thing you know it's like the great scene in Zoolander where the male models are having a water fight with petrol when one of them decides to light a cigarette.

Then there is the total other-worldly level of parking. Like, did an alien just come down from outer space and try and park here without any conception of how to drive a car? I mean you could park a spaceship like this…

 

…but not a car. How the hell did that happen? It's a bit like the scene in Ace Ventura Pet detective when he parks at high speed, totally flipping the car which happens to land in a tight spot. Then says: "Like a glove," and walks off.

As for this one. Words fail me. I really don't know what to say. I hope no one was hurt.

That bad driver may have trashed two cars but the guy below managed to total not only his car but some poor person's house too.

Another blogger pointed out a parking moment of genius. He goes to the gym regularly and every time he sees people in the gym car park circling around trying to get the closest parking spot. He says: "You’re going to the gym! Why not park on the far end of the lot? Is the extra 100 feet of walking going to mess up your workout?"

The problem with living in Cyprus is that you don't get any practice at parking. One of the great benefits of the country is that it is very under-populated with the 800,000 population having plenty of room to move freely (that said the island does get some horrible rush hour traffic which means that it can take you an hour to travel a short 20 minute distance when you reach the edge of the main cities Nicosia and Limassol). But overall the fact that Cyprus isn't overcrowded means that parking is a doddle and the island has tonnes of small car parks. So if I ever go back to England it will be a nightmare.

I had only just passed my driving test when I moved here and so had those special parallel parking techniques down to a tee. You know, the ones where the instructor gets you to line up various bits of your car with the other car you are trying to park behind? When the side mirror is level with their back window then you turn the steering wheel towards you one half turn. At least I think that's how it went. I can't remember, I've forgotten how to park.


There is no greater symbol of how stress free life in Cyprus is than the ease of parking. If they want to get money from the bank people here pull up onto the pavement next to the ATM. Most of the roads are unmarked. Very few of those pesky yellow and red lines which make things difficult for people in England. There is only one place on the island where parking gets tricky. And that is the car park for my block of flats. It's a large space which should fit about 50 cars, though on most days they pack about 70 in there. The only thing that matters in our car park is seniority. The people who have been in the block of flats for the longest have written their houses numbers on the side of the wall to mark out their territory, even though technically no one is allowed to claim any of those spaces on a regular basis.

When I first moved in I was promised I would have my own space within a week. One year later I do finally have a space, though it's not really a proper space. I've been told that the land registry took all this time deliberating and that now no one can go into my corner of the car park. But I don't even want to use that space as it means you are always blocked in. No, I have worked out where the one spot in the car park is that nobody can park behind me, otherwise they would be blocking the entrance. I fight to keep this space. If you don't have a good space like that you have to block someone in and leave a note on your car with your phone number. Then you get called all day asking to move your car. When you come downstairs people shout at you, not because they are angry you understand, but just because that's how people talk in Cyprus. The funniest moment was when I came downstairs to find that someone had left an article on my windshield. It said that Cyprus had had to modernize fast so there was hardly any time between Cypriots riding around on donkeys and now having their new, flashy sports cars. Therefore when I get worried about where my car is parked, it is just the old primeval concern about where I should leave my donkey. And believe me, parking a donkey is a lot easier than parking a car.

Parking is always a contentious issue but the latest parking proposals in Great Britain may go some way to appeasing angry drivers.  The most recent parking problem to come into the spotlight is the issue of hospital parking. Many patients are outraged that they have to pay to park in hospitals when they have no choice in the matter because of ill health. They have called parking charges a 'tax on the sick'. 

The issue came to a head recently when the Health Secretary Andy Burnham told the Labour Party Conference that he wants hospital car parking charges to be obolished of over the next three years.  He said: "For families of the sickest patients, the costs can really rack up. It is not right if some people do not get visitors every day because families cannot afford the parking fees"
 

Now at James Cook University Hospital in Middlesbrough visitors could be given up to 30 minutes free parking. This suggestion was brought about when the Middlesbrough Council’s health scrutiny panel said that car parking charges at the hospital needed to be reviewed. The review process might involve introducing a monthly parking ticket, which would be priced at around £8, for patients who need to make regular visits to the hospital.

At Worthing hospital in Sussex there has also been a call to end parking charges for cancer patients.
A man who has been forced to pay a lot of parking charges while taking his wife for Chemotherapy branded it 'outrageous'.  David Hopkins said: "When someone is so desperately ill with cancer and they are receiving chemotherapy treatment, the last thing you want to think about is paying for parking, especially when it can cost an absolute fortune. The whole thing is outrageous."

Mr Hopkins is angry because at Worthing hospital there are only six free parking spaces for cancer sufferers, not nearly enough to go around. Although the government is phasing out parking charges for outpatients, cancer patients and their carers still have to pay parking charges. This costs £1.20 per hour, £7 per day or £20 per week at Worthing.  A Worthing Hospital spokeswoman said: "Western Sussex Hospitals NHS Trust wants to make sure we make our cancer patients' visits to Worthing Hospital are as stress-fee as possible. We have six free, dedicated parking spaces allocated to cancer patients attending for treatment and there are seven free reserved spaces for dialysis patients."