A while ago, I somewhat bravely (or was it foolishly?) decided to take myself off to Italy for 3 months to learn Italian. Given my Italian was limited to Ciao and Cappuccino, there were bound to be some hiccups along the way, the question was simply, how many….
My first stop was
Venice, in January, on a student budget of €30/day…
Not surprisingly it started badly. The language school had arranged for me to stay with an Italian couple & I very foolishly assumed that they would speak some English. However when I called them a few days before I flew out, it became clear they did NOT. So, after about 4 attempts at a conversation, in which neither of us were getting anywhere I finally got an Italian mate to call & sort everything out. It was agreed that I would get either a bus to Venice & water bus down the canal, or the airport water bus direct to Santa Zaccharia bus stop & call. My landlady would then come & collect me.
So I flew in, picked up my ridiculously heavy bag (you try packing for 12 weeks!!) & headed for the waterbus ticket office. What was the quickest way to Santa Zaccharia? Water bus direct… leaving in 10 minutes, only a 5 minute walk away… Perfect!!! So I bought my ticket & off I went, dragging my 25kg behind me…and arrived at the waterbus dock just in time to see the damn thing’s tail-lights disappearing across the bay… & there wasn’t another one for an hour. So, it’s 9.15pm, I’m down €10 of my €30 for the day & I still have no way of getting to Venice.
Fortunately I was not the only one sold a dummy by the ticket office & I was soon joined by another 6 English tourists… also down €10 each… One of them spoke Italian so we decided to try & negotiate a deal with one of the water taxis. Now these are by far the fastest way to Venice but they cost a fortune (min €80 for 2 people, increasing from there based on numbers)… He wasn’t for negotiating, but with 7 of us it was painful, but possible. And there went my first Day’s money in approximately 15 minutes… NOT a promising start. However, looking on the bright side, I did get a very snazzy ride into Venice, it saved me the better part of an hour, & quite frankly I didn’t have much option…
So I arrived at Santa Zaccharia, lugged my giant case off the boat without falling in (that would have been about par for the course at that point) & called my landlady. Once again, there was much shouting… her in Italian, me in Spanish (kind of hoping that would be intelligible – sadly not really) and eventually I managed to work out “wait for me. I’m coming”.
10 minutes later she arrived & we headed off into the maze of streets that make up “old” Venice. The apartment was right in the middle of old Venice, perfect location for living the real Venetian life, but not ideal when you are dragging a 25kg suitcase behind you with another 10kg over one shoulder (I couldn’t get it all in the case!). With her help I puffed & panted my way through Venice, all the while waving my arms about a lot & smiling & nodding in the vague hope that we would suddenly & miraculously start communicating!
We got to her apartment. Guess what? She lived on the third floor & there was no lift. NO!!!
So we dragged the case up the stairs, fortunately being met at the first landing by her other half who manfully lugged it the rest of the way (thank god, long may chauvinism last!). Then I got the tour of the flat along with various instructions in Italian (none of which I understood) supported by hand signals (some of which I understood) & I was “home”... They also very kindly furnished me with a map with a route to the school marked & the waterbus timetable (it was 45 minutes from door to door complete with a sail up the Grand Canal, something the school had neglected to mention!). A schedule for the bathroom was agreed (lucky I at least knew what 7 was!) & I retired to my room to quietly fall apart…
Monday morning dawns bright and decidedly chilly, but I had pulled myself together & was ready for the challenge….(it isn’t an adventure if it doesn’t have a scary start and at least one occasion when you wish you could go home!). Now I had been too busy feeling sorry for myself & concentrating on dragging my suitcase the night before to pay a great deal of attention to my route, so I did have my doubts as to whether I could find my way back to the vaporetto stop. However something must have stuck (it certainly wasn’t my world renown sense of direction!!) & I found my way back through the maze of tiny streets, up & down bridges, over canals & arrived at the vaporetto stop just after 8. First hurdle crossed without incident…However. The ticket office was shut & there was a sign saying no ticket is a €30 fine… Now what, with my non-existent Italian? Only one choice.. be the useless foreigner & throw myself on the mercy of the vaporetto conductor.. (The guy who parks at each dock & stops you falling in!!).
The boat arrived, we all jumped on & I confessed my lack of ticket… Fortunately he spoke some English…”No problem. Get off at the next stop & buy one…” Excellent. That seemed simple… what a nice man! What he neglected to mention was… get off, buy a ticket & we’ll leave without you!!!! I was already on the ramp to get back on & he just sailed off… Now after the ticket office the night before & this one, I was starting to develop a persecution complex!
I got the next Vaporetto (at least they come along every 10 minutes) & jumped off at Ca’ Rezzonico where I was reliably informed I would find the school… and miracle of miracles I did… (with only one stop to ask directions… which involved waving the address at a passer-by & watching his hand signals while the words washed right over my head)
Lessons were interesting, but I survived. Next stop Internet café. Fortunately the school was in the university district so availability of internet cafes were not an issue & this one was run by an English guy (cheating I know… but it was day 1. Give me a break!) & he was cheap (internet in Venice is exorbitant (in fact EVERYTHING in Venice is exhorbitant) – not good when you are on €30/day). However, things were not quite as simple as they seemed… Thanks to heightens security, you now can’t use an internet café in Italy without providing photographic ID… and that, of course, was all left back at the apartment for safety. I tried bleating, but he was not to be moved, it was home or no emails… Some good came of it mind you, he told me that only tourists took the Vaporetto, and I could walk to & from school (thereby saving €10 a day in bus fares). So with some directions in my head I set off to cross Venice.
What a fantastic discovery. The bus ride up the canal is lovely, and has to be done once, just to see the amazing old Palacios, the Rialto Bridge & all the other famous sites of the Grand Canal. But, once you’ve done it once, it is just a bus, and an expensive tourist one at that. The walk from the school to the apartment on the other hand was the most amazing journey through old Venice you can imagine… Down tiny alleys, through lovely little squares, winding through these stunning old buildings, between canals, across bridges, past Gondoliers in woolly hats & little old ladies in obscenely expensive fur coats… Past Gucci, Prada and every designer boutique imaginable, straight across the middle of Piazza San Marco (scattering pigeons as I went), past shops selling huge slices of Pizza and others selling amazing masks for the upcoming carnival (next weekend). It really is a 40 minute crash course in Venice…
My next few days in Venice were filled mainly with intensive cramming of Italian verbs and vocabulary, interspersed with sanity restoring trips to the local internet café and a LOT of walking around muttering to myself (practising you know!) and looking like the village idiot.
January is a fantastic time to see Venice because there are very few tourists. This is because a) it is extremely chilly (we had snow on day 4 and I blew my entire budget for the day on a woolly bobble hat and a pair of gloves) and b) it is the time of Acqua Alta (high water), when high tides CAN flood large parts of the city twice a day. I didn’t have any of the famed floods while I was there, but the raised walkways dotted about were testament to how bad it can be. I was also fortunate to have some beautiful clear days which allowed me to see Venice in all its splendour. However I also had snow and learned a very valuable lesson…
I came out of school on day 5 with a head full of verbs to discover the bitter cold and clear skies had given way to snow. Snow is not unheard of in Venice but it’s isn’t very common, and I most certainly hadn’t dressed for it… Best bet, get home and warm as quickly as possible…
I made it as far as St Mark’s square without incident, and then it all went wrong…
I was walking briskly across the square when I discovered an interesting fact… Pigeon poop & snow do not mix… If you combine them you get VERY slippery paving… combine that with my inevitably impractical footwear & there was only one possible outcome… Yes, me, flat on my back in St Mark’s square!!! (Pause while you wet yourselves laughing……) Now fortunately I did not injure myself… I landed on my arse, so there was plenty of padding… however having chosen possibly the most famous tourist sight in Europe I have no doubt whatsoever that I will now be appearing on home video bloopers across the world… (It is a sure thing some tourist got me sailing through the air on film!!) So look out for me... and if you see me, I want the $200! I picked myself up with as much dignity as I could must and retired to nurse by bruised backside, practice my verbs and prepare myself for the next stage of my Italian adventure…
So lessons for Venice in January
- Whatever they tell you about walking distances, DOUBLE IT or you will miss whatever transport you are planning on.
- If you do use the Vaporettos, buy a ticket when you see a booth open, they aren’t always open when you need them, and fare dodging will end badly.
- If you need internet, be prepared to stump up BIG and take your photo ID with you.
- Wherever possible, WALK! You will see so much more, save money and really get a feel for the place.
- DO NOT book accommodation on the 3rd floor with no lift if you have 35kg of luggage.
- Check forecasts for Acqua alta to be sure you don’t spend your entire holiday wading through knee deep flood waters.
- Pigeon poop and snow are a lethal combination – avoid at all costs unless you want a purple backside and a guest appearance of video bloopers.
 Catherine D'Arcy is a business consultant and founder of online jeweller Corazon Latino. She has spent the past 5 years travelling around the world, learning languages and sourcing silver jewellery. She has kindly agreed to appear as a guest blogger from time to share her travel experiences. See Jewellery Wiki. |